Kimtinvan is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, loving goose.

Kimtinvan created Africa six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kimtinvan, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Kimtinvan, she will throw large rocks at you.

Kimtinvan's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Kimtinvan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick rats.

2. Kimtinvan loves ducks, so they must be honoured.

3. Always help sick squirrels.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Always obey Kimtinvan's priests.