Sandxucmum is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, narcissistic pig.

Sandxucmum created time and space five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sandxucmum, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Sandxucmum, he will laugh at you.

Sandxucmum's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Sandxucmum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. You must love Sandxucmum.

3. Always wear orange.

4. Do not shave your back.

5. Feed all hungry foxes.