Pigfemnurbarn Monlamguplamdapkiphubgup is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, tranquil lobster.

Pigfemnurbarn Monlamguplamdapkiphubgup created parasitic wasps three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pigfemnurbarn Monlamguplamdapkiphubgup, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Pigfemnurbarn Monlamguplamdapkiphubgup, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Pigfemnurbarn Monlamguplamdapkiphubgup's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Pigfemnurbarn Monlamguplamdapkiphubgup's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt manatees.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not kill great tits.

4. Do not speak about nuts.

5. Erect a large silver sculpture of Pigfemnurbarn Monlamguplamdapkiphubgup on top of all buildings.