Cinqueegbeg is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, emotional slug.

Cinqueegbeg created gold three billion years ago.

If you believe in Cinqueegbeg, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Cinqueegbeg, she will ignore you.

Cinqueegbeg's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Cinqueegbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention tapirs.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Cinqueegbeg.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never write about gravity.