Cidyattyarl is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, selfish raccoon.

Cidyattyarl created the Large Magellanic Cloud seven million years ago.

If you believe in Cidyattyarl, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Cidyattyarl, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Cidyattyarl's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Cidyattyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate monkeys.

2. You must never eat bread.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never write about gravity.