Hadvaddublap is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, awe-inspiring wombat.

Hadvaddublap created the universe seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hadvaddublap, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Hadvaddublap, he will turn you into a duck.

Hadvaddublap's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Hadvaddublap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Always make sure there are no horses in a building before entering it.

3. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Always wear mauve.

5. Never paint your hands purple.