Hubcipdib is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, conceited seal.

Hubcipdib created dark energy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hubcipdib, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Hubcipdib, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Hubcipdib's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Hubcipdib's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Always treat frogs with great respect.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never talk about cell theory.