Fumbogboss is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, selfish crab.

Fumbogboss created Mount Everest three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fumbogboss, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Fumbogboss, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Fumbogboss' most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Fumbogboss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Do not speak about rice.

3. Do not trade with those who eat pineapples.

4. Never eat limes.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.