Pibpangbest is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, vain swan.

Pibpangbest created a quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Pibpangbest, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Pibpangbest, she will turn you into a puffin.

Pibpangbest's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Pibpangbest's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from turquoise gulls, for they are unholy.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Erect a large silver sculpture of Pibpangbest on top of all buildings.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

5. Do not covet oxen.