Vonkkenhug is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, slow squid.

Vonkkenhug created the Black Eye Galaxy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonkkenhug, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Vonkkenhug, he will be very unhappy.

Vonkkenhug's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Vonkkenhug's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never eat bark.