Zogpoppang is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, tiresome scorpion.

Zogpoppang created a top quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zogpoppang, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Zogpoppang, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Zogpoppang's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Zogpoppang's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a building before entering it.

2. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Zogpoppang on top of all buildings.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never go into cyan rooms.