Bamlargwat is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, pitiless shrew.

Bamlargwat created a down quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Bamlargwat, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bamlargwat, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Bamlargwat's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Bamlargwat's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about galaxies.

2. Put Bamlargwat first in all things.

3. Never talk about eagles.

4. Do not kill goats.

5. Always wear orange.