Niblegarp is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, ill-tempered mink.

Niblegarp created bats four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Niblegarp, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Niblegarp, she will be very sad.

Niblegarp's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Niblegarp's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Worship no other gods but Niblegarp.

5. Always take life seriously.