Farnfarcarpinmat is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, astonishing armadillo.

Farnfarcarpinmat created tapeworms four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Farnfarcarpinmat, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Farnfarcarpinmat, he will cry a lot.

Farnfarcarpinmat's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Farnfarcarpinmat's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about moons.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Always help sick eagles.

4. Erect seven titanium sculptures of Farnfarcarpinmat on top of important buildings.

5. Never wear magenta shoes.