Bissbemlarn is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, grumpy hedgehog.

Bissbemlarn created bats six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bissbemlarn, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bissbemlarn, he will not care at all.

Bissbemlarn's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Bissbemlarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not stand on grass.