Bonxenzod is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, intelligent swallow.

Bonxenzod created bats eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bonxenzod, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bonxenzod, it will send you a sign.

Bonxenzod's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Bonxenzod's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed bananas to sharks while wearing blue stockings.

2. Bonxenzod loves great tits, so they must be honoured.

3. Snakes are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Bonxenzod must be the most important thing in your life.