Taddosswonlamjiggovdimben is a god.

He takes the form of a small, emotional spider.

Taddosswonlamjiggovdimben created time and space twelve years ago.

If you believe in Taddosswonlamjiggovdimben, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Taddosswonlamjiggovdimben, he will turn you into a plant.

Taddosswonlamjiggovdimben's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Taddosswonlamjiggovdimben's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair brown.

2. Do not trade with those who eat limes.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never mention rats.