Pidpitarn is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, calm camel.

Pidpitarn created an atom five billion years ago.

If you believe in Pidpitarn, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Pidpitarn, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Pidpitarn's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Pidpitarn's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry porpoises.

2. Never think about gravity.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Retreat if six moths approach from the south.

5. Always make sure there are no birds in a room before entering it.