Yimyarlben is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, unfair jaguar.

Yimyarlben created humankind two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yimyarlben, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Yimyarlben, she will turn you into a rock.

Yimyarlben's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Yimyarlben's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair mauve.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never think about amino acids.

5. Never skip near ducks.