Vonkbumlan is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, generous swallow.

Vonkbumlan created the Milkyway six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkbumlan, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Vonkbumlan, she will ignore you.

Vonkbumlan's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Vonkbumlan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat spinach.

2. Hide from purple geese for they are unholy.

3. Always look after injured otters.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate cats.

5. Hide if four sheep approach from the east.