Hangathonkon is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, ill-tempered crab.

Hangathonkon created the planet Jupiter eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Hangathonkon, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Hangathonkon, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Hangathonkon's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Hangathonkon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair yellow.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never paint your neck blue.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.