Hasvanmid is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, bad-tempered cobra.

Hasvanmid created the solar system nine million years ago.

If you believe in Hasvanmid, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Hasvanmid, he will torture you forever.

Hasvanmid's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Hasvanmid's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in the presence of horses.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Always look after injured tapirs.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Always help sick swans.