Rigcidtim is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, pitiless tortoise.

Rigcidtim created the cosmos seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rigcidtim, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Rigcidtim, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Rigcidtim's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Rigcidtim's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if four tapirs approach from the west.

2. You must love Rigcidtim.

3. Never talk about swans.

4. Never wear pink corsets.

5. Always pray immersed in water.