Femkopced is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, cheerful lobster.

Femkopced created humankind six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Femkopced, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Femkopced, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Femkopced's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Femkopced's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed rice to sheep while wearing green tights.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Always help sick manatees.

5. Always stare at clouds.