Nutbumbest is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, awe-inspiring hippopotamus.

Nutbumbest created the cosmos five million years ago.

If you believe in Nutbumbest, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Nutbumbest, it will try to impress you with trees.

Nutbumbest's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Nutbumbest's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. You must pray to Nutbumbest six times a day.

3. Never go into black rooms.

4. Do not dye your hair mauve.

5. Never mention hamsters.