Zanxucbum is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, contented pig.

Zanxucbum created the solar system nine million years ago.

If you believe in Zanxucbum, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Zanxucbum, he will be very unhappy.

Zanxucbum's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Zanxucbum's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from magenta grasshopers, for they are unholy.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Always make sure there are no voles in a building before entering it.

4. Never write about galaxies.

5. Seals are unholy and should not be approached.