Ligtonflam is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, awesome snake.

Ligtonflam created the Sol system four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ligtonflam, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Ligtonflam, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Ligtonflam's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Ligtonflam's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Put Ligtonflam first in all things.

3. Hide from red doves for they are unholy.

4. Do not wear violet clothing.

5. Do not cook food in pots.