Battamflan is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, unthinking naga.

Battamflan created tapeworms five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Battamflan, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Battamflan, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Battamflan's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Battamflan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat gooseberries.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never wear rings.

5. Never jump in the presence of frogs.