Butyarzen is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, compassionate centipede.

Butyarzen created an up quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Butyarzen, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Butyarzen, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Butyarzen's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Butyarzen's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate badgers.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never skip in the presence of ants.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never eat strawberries.