Lamvolgep is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, fussy seal.

Lamvolgep created the Large Magellanic Cloud six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lamvolgep, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Lamvolgep, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Lamvolgep's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Lamvolgep's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a room before entering it.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Always look after injured frogs.

4. Never laugh in holy places.

5. Respect your elders.