Gilsabzog is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, humorless squid.

Gilsabzog created water three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gilsabzog, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Gilsabzog, it will turn you into a duck.

Gilsabzog's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Gilsabzog's Holy Commandments

1. Erect nine platinum sculptures of Gilsabzog on top of important buildings.

2. Snakes are not to be trusted.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gilsabzog.

5. Never feed gooseberries to sheep while wearing gray skirts.