Gubkaphin is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, merciless bat.

Gubkaphin created the Sol system eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gubkaphin, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Gubkaphin, it will boil you in a big pot.

Gubkaphin's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Gubkaphin's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity.

2. Never mention grasshopers.

3. You must never eat coconuts.

4. Always treat whales with great respect.

5. Never think about comets.