Targbissart is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, emotional crab.

Targbissart created time and space four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Targbissart, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Targbissart, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Targbissart's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Targbissart's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if eight doves approach from the east.

2. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

3. Never go into white rooms.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Fast once a month.