Flyvancissyik is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, stupid goat.

Flyvancissyik created the cosmos three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flyvancissyik, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Flyvancissyik, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Flyvancissyik's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Flyvancissyik's Holy Commandments

1. Swans are not to be trusted.

2. Never eat grapes.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate bats.

4. Never hurt badgers.

5. Do not speak about figs.