Kikjaptip Gutarpmig Homdudyak is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, thoughtless scorpion.

Kikjaptip Gutarpmig Homdudyak created a down quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Kikjaptip Gutarpmig Homdudyak, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Kikjaptip Gutarpmig Homdudyak, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Kikjaptip Gutarpmig Homdudyak's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Kikjaptip Gutarpmig Homdudyak's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about nebulae.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never write about planets.

5. Never paint your face turquoise.