Fomwapyar is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, dishonourable chinchilla.

Fomwapyar created vertebrates seven million years ago.

If you believe in Fomwapyar, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Fomwapyar, he will try to impress you with trees.

Fomwapyar's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Fomwapyar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never paint your neck yellow.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Fomwapyar.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Feed all hungry sharks.