Gesstikgeb is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, merciful finch.

Gesstikgeb created a photon three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gesstikgeb, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Gesstikgeb, he will boil you in a big pot.

Gesstikgeb's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Gesstikgeb's Holy Commandments

1. Always help mice.

2. Do not eat grapes.

3. Do not dye your hair gray.

4. Never talk about planets.

5. Fast once a month.