Doghakartzag is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, smart elephant.

Doghakartzag created a Higgs boson three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Doghakartzag, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Doghakartzag, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Doghakartzag's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Doghakartzag's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt grasshopers.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Do not shave your back.

4. Never talk about foxes.

5. Do not wear fawn clothing.