Farnmisvin is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, dishonest spider.

Farnmisvin created an electron three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Farnmisvin, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Farnmisvin, he will turn you into a duck.

Farnmisvin's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Farnmisvin's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Farnmisvin.

2. Retreat if seven cats approach from the east.

3. Farnmisvin must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. You must never eat corn.