Cemwanbumnill Quartponneg is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, self-assured goose.

Cemwanbumnill Quartponneg created the planet Mars seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cemwanbumnill Quartponneg, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Cemwanbumnill Quartponneg, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Cemwanbumnill Quartponneg's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Cemwanbumnill Quartponneg's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention foxes.

2. Hide from cyan dogs for they are unholy.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Cemwanbumnill Quartponneg.

4. Never think about gravity.

5. Do not wear indigo clothing.