Fomhivnan Rag is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, prudent human.

Fomhivnan Rag created viruses nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fomhivnan Rag, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fomhivnan Rag, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Fomhivnan Rag's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Fomhivnan Rag's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Worship no other gods but Fomhivnan Rag.

4. Never sing in the presence of monkeys.

5. Retreat if seven mites approach from the west.