Kamjapmigjarn is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, boastful lobster.

Kamjapmigjarn created humanity four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kamjapmigjarn, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Kamjapmigjarn, it will destroy your favourite star.

Kamjapmigjarn's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Kamjapmigjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Kamjapmigjarn loves ants, so they must be respected.

4. Never wear blue shirts.

5. Never look in ponds.