Batarmlarg is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, annoying yak.

Batarmlarg created snails seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Batarmlarg, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Batarmlarg, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Batarmlarg's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Batarmlarg's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt geese.

2. Never think about stars.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Do not sing in public.

5. Hide from white gulls for they are unholy.