Dissterlab is a god.

He takes the form of a large, conceited guinea pig.

Dissterlab created viruses five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dissterlab, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Dissterlab, he will turn you into a rat.

Dissterlab's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Dissterlab's Holy Commandments

1. Erect four zinc sculptures of Dissterlab on top of important buildings.

2. Never wear coats.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

5. Dissterlab loves bats, so they must be respected.