Catnul is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, deceitful beaver.

Catnul created Asia two billion years ago.

If you believe in Catnul, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Catnul, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Catnul's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Catnul's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention whales.

2. Erect a large gold sculpture of Catnul on top of all buildings.

3. Do not wear carbon on your body.

4. Never feed onions to frogs while wearing turquoise shorts.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.