Fligmabwik is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, all-powerful elephant.

Fligmabwik created carbon five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fligmabwik, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Fligmabwik, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Fligmabwik's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Fligmabwik's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Fligmabwik must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Tortoises are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Always wear green.

5. Do not wear titanium on your body.