Govtiknad is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, narcissistic snake.

Govtiknad created tapeworms four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Govtiknad, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Govtiknad, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Govtiknad's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Govtiknad's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear pink hats.

2. Never write about black holes.

3. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Never think about galaxies.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.