Wabtiffut is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, generous jaguar.

Wabtiffut created time and space seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Wabtiffut, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Wabtiffut, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Wabtiffut's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Wabtiffut's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention doves.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a building before entering it.

5. Never talk about moons.