Timfudpop Mutgemmumbarn is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, all-powerful hamster.

Timfudpop Mutgemmumbarn created oxygen four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Timfudpop Mutgemmumbarn, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Timfudpop Mutgemmumbarn, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Timfudpop Mutgemmumbarn's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Timfudpop Mutgemmumbarn's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Timfudpop Mutgemmumbarn.

2. Always wear black.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Run away from gray swans, for they are unholy.

5. Do not speak about bananas.