Nurnartzog is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, dishonest parrot.

Nurnartzog created a top quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurnartzog, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Nurnartzog, she will turn you into a goat.

Nurnartzog's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Nurnartzog's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never sit in holy places.